When will I have words?

Silence for over six months.  Am I really a blogger?  From my output, it would appear I am not. So then, when I begin to write, where do I start?  What do I say?  I really have no answers to these questions.

I am still reflecting on the words of Psalm 18 that I wrote about in my last blog post and parts of it have become a daily prayer.

“I love you Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” v 1-2.

They are a source of much comfort when facing change and this year I have had plenty.  I have lost a job that I loved, I have started a new job that I love.  I have left a church that I loved and now attend a new church that I love.  Put all the emotions associated with that together into a mixing bowl and start stirring. And then we have had family issues that have given me much heartache.  I have done a lot of weeping.  And yet, I have experienced such joy at the same time and I have had a heart of thankfulness through this entire year.  My life looks a little like a bitter-sweet chocolate cake.  I have learnt to eat and enjoy dark chocolate and have discovered that from bitterness it is possible to extract much delight.

Five years ago I made a quilt for my mother-in-law which has sat on her lap or on back of her chair every day, a bit like a travelling companion.  It went with her to her new room in a nursing home in June as her health has deteriorated significantly.  It has been one of the few things that has made her room homely – so who would steal it?  But it has vanished and she has shed tears.  She has lost the ability to communicate with words.

This week I have made her a new quilt and it carries my tears, my joys and each stitch has carried love for this remarkable woman.  She is a woman who knows that she is loved by God and precious in His sight.  I am hopeful she will enjoy the beauty of its colours – they are her favourite colours and that it brings comfort in her final waiting days.

IMG_0155IMG_0157 May's new quilt

Here is her new quilt ready for pinning and hand quilting. I discovered this wonderful radio program as I sewed these pieces together.  It is called “Soul Music” and it is on BBC Radio 4.  Each episode is based on a piece of music and people tell stories from their lives about how this music has influenced and shaped them or acquired a significance and become a part of them.

In the last month I have spent time with a woman  on a journey of understanding grace.  She had listened to the episode on Psalm 23 and been deeply moved.  She told me her story of searching for faith and it included this Psalm.  I gave her the Jesus Storybook Bible which she read from cover to cover in one sitting and for the first time in her life began to comprehend how much she is deeply loved by God and saved by His marvellous grace.  (Incidentally this is being republished with an “adult” friendly title: The story of God’s love for you )

That is enough words for one post. I am tired of waiting for words to come, it may never happen, so I will simply write what comes out.  Who knows, I might yet be a blogger.

About sarahcondie

I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, an ex-librarian, a minister's wife, a women's Pastor, a quilter, a reader, I enjoy thinking about things slowly, I love cups of tea, I love sitting at my kitchen table in dappled sunlight and chatting with my friends, my children's friends, my family abut anything and everything.
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